shit you may not know about brazil:

they have cognac flavored ice cream

right now on brazilian television, you can buy a live cow on some public access e-bay type of thing

in brazil they sell rechargeable battery-powered electric tennis-racket-shaped fly swatters. when you hit a bug it explodes in mid air. i’m afraid if i bring one of these home for my father, he’ll quit his job as a painter in favor of being an exterminator.

push means pull and pull means push.

they have a word that means “having been fucked in the ass so much that it’s all out of shape”  why in gods name is there a word for that and why isn’t it in the lexicon of the american recording industry?

many dogs are trained to poop inside on a combination newspaper diaper array… so my experience (many times) has been wandering around a beautiful mansion or apartment with marble floors and nearly stumbling upon a steaming pile of dog waste.  muito paradoxical.

i have no idea how to use a bidet. it’s not only that i don’t know which of 3 knobs to turn, but i don’t even know what the proper protocol is …
terribly afraid of something going wrong.

the country house we’re woking in is beautiful. there’s a pool, bar, barbecue area, soccer pitch, 2 baths etc. however there is no washing machine and no large towels. what’s up with that?
i will now attempt to wash my T-shirts in the sink.

milk comes only in a box.

whoever imports liquor to brazil is completely crooked.
in freezers everywhere there are bottles of vodka with large chunks of ice inside them.  when i saw this last year i figured it was a fluke, or a, ‘no honest i didn’t make a martini’ moment. but i’ve seen it again and again. either very shady or some sort of law that i don’t understand.

nearly everyone i meet bt the ages of 20-30 lives with their parents.  just sit and imagine being told to clean your room, or having your mom do your washing in your 30′s. NOSSA.